THINGY
THINGY

August 25, 2010

Love, Thy Name is Rage Quit

Filed under: Journalist — Tags: , , , — Yukino @ 11:38 AM

More often than not, video games are fun. You can waste countless hours staring at your TV, ignoring your responsibilities and immersing your entire being into the story at hand. These games take you on amazing adventures or simply help pass the time, and either way, you feel accomplished and better for having the experience under your belt.

And then there are the games so full of promise you pre-order them, religiously follow their development process, even make custom screensavers with the hi-resolution screencaps posted to hundreds of sites the minute they are released to the press. All this to only be extremely frustrated and outraged with the final product once you finally load the game.

When you review video games you are bound to have a game land in your lap every so often that becomes an absolute chore to play. You will think of all kinds of excuses to not sit down with that horrendous piece of code. There’s laundry to be done, you need to pick up the mess the dog left in the yard, or maybe you’d rather scrub the bathroom in a fraternity house. Anything you can do to avoid the inevitable hair-pulling, vocabulary-stretching and possible controller in the wall/TV will help you keep some bit of sanity.

Procrastinating can only go for so long, though. Once you run out of excuses, you force yourself to sit down, take a deep breath, and suffer through one or more of the following:

~ poor/unresponsive controls
~ insanely hard difficulty that cannot be adjusted
~ weak story, sometimes taking hours before it goes anywhere
~ repetitive levels
~ recurring glitches and freezing
~ complete and utter boredom
~ poor online multiplayer support

One of the more recent titles I’ve had the (dis)pleasure of putting in my DS was My Baby First Steps, a babysitting/parenting simulator geared towards the pre-teen female gamer. With an open mind I set forth on my digital toddler raising adventure. In my earlier days I spent many nights babysitting younger cousins and kids of family friends so I could spoil myself just a little. I knew just how tough it was to change the runny diaper of a squirming, screaming 15 month old and keep an eye on the other children terrorizing each other while I was in another room. How hard could it be to take care of one digital child just learning to walk and utter their first words?

Not more than five minutes into the game and the simple task of dragging the stuffed bunny toy across the screen to encourage my little one to crawl had already begun to wear my patience thin. Worried that the added pressure I was now applying to my stylus might damage the fragile screen, I put the game aside to resume once my hand returned to normal. It was off and on again with My Baby First Steps for a few days until I just couldn’t take it anymore.

An afternoon bath that I had performed successfully a few times in a row took a turn for the worse when the stylus’ movements simply would not register with the game. For fifteen minutes I re-scrubbed that baby all over and still the game did not register I had completed the task. That was the last straw. I snapped the lid of my DS shut, yanked the cartridge out of the system and threw it across the room, with expletives and noises of pure rage filling my apartment. I’m sure that three of the white hairs I yanked from my head that week were caused by that game.

Several months later, I am reading every press release and watching every trailer for Naughty Bear, an M rated game in which you hurt, maim and terrify your way through one map, earning points so that you can unlock new missions using that same level. Wash, rinse, repeat. At first the game looked like it would be a lot of fun. The marketing team did an amazing job. Too bad they didn’t tell you it was one level design that you would play over and over again and that there was a lack of variety in missions. Add on the fact that the game froze twice at the exact same spot finishing up the very first mission. I let it go the first time, but when it happened that second instance, I powered down my 360 and started to write my review of the game.

Of course I went back and gave it another shot. No reviewer should ever base a review of a video game solely on one level. At this point, I still hadn’t discovered that I’d be playing that same map over and over again until I could run it in my sleep. Dutifully, I ran the game again and again, not usually playing more than one or two missions in a session. No matter what the game threw at me there just was no spark. I finally hit a roadblock while playing a stealth mission that I just couldn’t forgive. That was it. The glitches, the boredom, seeing the same things over and over – I snapped. I quietly put my controller back on top of my system and found a pillow to scream into. All the disappointment and rage that had been building up inside me finally came to the surface.

When I come face to face with a bad video game, it breaks my heart. There simply is no excuse for bad games, especially now, in the Hi-Def, motion controlled generation we live in. Bringing a game to retail means that it is at its maximum potential. You have done everything in your power as a game developer to ensure that I am going to have an amazing adventure with your latest digital masterpiece. Releasing work that clearly needs more time in the studio is a slap in the face to the gamers who have been impatiently waiting to see the amazing journeys you promised.

That moment when I finally come to terms with the fact that my gaming heart has been ripped from my chest and trampled over by a legion of Darkspawn is the “rage-quit” rearing its ugly head. The heartache overwhelms the Wall of Tolerance, leaving me no choice but to scream, punch and flail my arms about wildly as I denounce the atrocity before me. No controllers or consoles have been destroyed to date, however there have been some game discs that found new life as frisbees….. until the wind carried them off to some poor unsuspecting sap.

If we didn’t love games as much as we did, we would simply put aside the controller and find something else to do. Alas, we are in love with the pixels and polygons, so this song and dance is one we will repeat over and over again in hopes that the next game will band-aid the scars left from ones before.

*Cues the song and prepares to dance*

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Gamer Banter is a monthly blog-share project put together by Terry Bosky of GameCouch. This month’s topic for discussion was: What is the worst game you’ve ever played?

Please check out the other contributions.

Game Couch: The Worst Game Ever
Silvercublogger: It’s all about integrity
Master Kitty’s World: What were they thinking???
Zath: What’s the worst game you’ve ever played?
SnipingMizzy: What is there to love?
The Game Fanatics: What is the worst game you’ve ever played?
Pioneer Project: Making the best of a bad situation
gunthera1_gamer: The game I could have loved!
The Average Gamer: Gamer Banter: Worst Game EVAR!
Extra Guy:
Battle Blaze — 700 pounds of ‘don’t do it’

July 1, 2010

The Age of Motion

Why is it that game companies want to force me into moving around like an idiot in front of my TV to play my games? When I want to move around I tend to do something constructive, like baking, exercising or running away from spiders.

Going completely controller-free is not in my future, no matter how hard some companies might be trying to steer us in that direction. Part of being a gamer is memorizing button combos and having something in your hands you could almost throw at your TV. The controller is a natural extension of who and what we are.

At first I thought that we were set with the ridiculousness of the Wii. A controller shaped like a remote, waving our arms around, starving for real games and then watching as the great games sold horribly while the shovelware flew off store shelves. The Wii quickly became a hot item for the casual and new gamer demographics, with slews of four player sporting games leading the way. Nintendo also brought out some games for their core gamers, however the wait time in between those games turned a lot of those original purchases into dust collecting machines.

At E3 2010, Microsoft and Sony showcased their new motion control line up for the coming Holiday season. I was not at E3, so my opinions below do not contain any hands-on experience, but I believe there are other gamers who share in my hesitance to have another console turn into another fitness program.

Xbox Kinect (aka-Project Natal)

After everything I have seen and read post-E3, Kinect looks to be a large disappointment for its core gamers. Microsoft’s desire to convert more casual gamers to the system is all fine and good, but it’s a major slap in the face to the long term supporters. Not adding optional support for console selling franchises such as Halo and Gears of War doesn’t entice those hardcore FPS and action adventure gamers to run out and drop the $150 on a fancy motorized camera.

Being completely upfront with my readers, I strongly favour my Xbox 360 over my PS3 or the household Wii. I have spent thousands of dollars on retail and DLC games, I pay for a Gold subscription so that I can play online with my friends. I am not against purchasing accessories and games for a console if I believe that I am going to have a great gaming experience. Kinect’s high price tag and a launch line up of completely casual games that remind me of all the shovelware titles that we’ve previously seen on the Wii make me want to keep that $150 in my pocket. And not including any games (as of now) in that package leaves a nasty taste in my mouth.

The only impressive game that I saw for Kinect was Dance Central, which I’m sure will be a hit with people who want to dance. Me, not so much. From everything I’ve read about it and impressions of people I know who were able to try it out, Dance Central is fun and challenging and worked well with the Kinect camera.

If Kinect remains a tool used only for casual and family games, it will inevitably fail. As much as they believe their hardcore gamers will be buying this on day one, I think that they will be shocked when that does not happen. I don’t know too many people who want to wave their hands around or use voice commands to play movies. Voice commands are fine if you’re the only person in the room, but what happens when you are having a party and everyone is talking? Who’s voice will the system respond to? How will it be able to differentiate amongst everyone in the room and pick out only your voice? And if someone walks behind you while you are playing, how can the Xbox be certain that person is just walking by and not mistake their actions as someone else trying to sign in? These are just a few questions I have not found the answers to, and we probably won’t until much closer to the November launch.

They talk a big game on how Kinect will be something their core gamers will embrace, yet I fail to see anything that makes me feel the need to run out and pre-order this today. We’ll see how things change as we come closer to the Holiday 2010 launch of Kinect and what Microsoft does to counteract a potential loss of sales to the Playstation Move.

Playstation Move

Instead of going completely controller free, Sony’s Move is a lot like the Wii – two unique controller pieces working together with the Eye (camera) to bring the player a new sense of involvement with their Playstation gaming. So while you can choose to play games swinging your arms around, you’ll at least look as though you’re actually doing something.

The key difference between Kinect and Move is that Sony is ensuring it’s motion controllers will resonate with the potential new and casual gamer markets as well as their core gamers. They are bringing a solid mix of family, casual and hardcore games to the PS3 that will make use, if you so choose, of the Move controllers. Killzone 3 and the newest SOCOM title will both offer DualShock 3 and Move support, giving their core gamers a perfect reason to invest in Move. It’s nice to be able to play with your family every once in a while, but there are times when you want to play online with your buddies, and pretending to look down the scope of a sniper rifle is more fun with a controller than it is just pointing your finger at a screen.

Another bonus with Move is that Sony has announced that their Move line-up will be retailing for $39.99 per title (this does not include other titles that support Move controls such as Killzone 3, etc). Smarter still is their introduction Move bundle for people who would like to be up and running with a  game. Granted, it is the standard sports collection, but it is better than getting a peripheral without any software.

While games like Invizimals and the sports collection are not titles I would spend my money on, Sony will be bringing out some action adventure titles such as Heroes on the Move and the Sly Cooper Collection which has a lot of the core gamers talking. These are the kinds of games that Microsoft is missing from it’s launch line up – games that do more than have you swat flies from the screen or run on the spot. Sony already made those types of games for the PS2 when they released the EyeToy.

My only concern with Move is that I might experience the same stiffness/soreness in my wrist that I get when playing a Wii game for more than 20 minutes. Holding a traditional style controller is much more natural position. While I may not play a Move title for an extended period of time, they are bringing some excellent titles to the system that I am sure will have me using my PS3 more often than I do now.

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I’d love to hear any thoughts or concerns that any readers of this post might have. Objective thoughts only, please!

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